The football season is now two games old and I'm already demoralised beyond words as the mighty Tottenham have started proceedings in their habitual rotten fashion.
I've got a brilliant idea, lads...what we'll do is sell nine-tenths of our team to the competition, including our top scorer of the last umpteen seasons. Then his equally gifted strike partner too - or better still, try and keep hold of the latter even though he'll then sulk, refuse to play and disrupt the whole team's preparations.
Some last-minute purchases must surely be in order, otherwise it'll be all over before it's even begun. Bah. Football sucks.
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