Never trust a man...

with egg on his face...



Okay...so it's been a week back at work after the summer break.
I can handle this. It's not so bad. The working week has flown by. Truly.
Maybe it takes a couple of days to get back into the swing of things, but once that happens it's downhill gardening isn't it?
I wonder how many weeks (days?) we have left of pretend-the weather hasn't changed its mind-"summer". Every day that's not wet and cold seems like a fluke. How did that happen? It wasn't that long ago that it seemed that the warm weather was never-ending.
Enjoy it while it lasts.

I want to believe...

19-19-19-19-1982...

...that was the year son...

Ah, a glorious year too - check out the top-quality 100% nylon on this centenary edition Spurs top. Was I ever that small? Really?
The last day of the hols and it's chucking it down. A nice lazy day in the sunshine wouldn't have gone amiss today but there you go. Mustn't grumble. I'll soon be back in the swing of things. Nothing changes, everything stays the same. It's been a while, mind, wonder if I still know how everything works. We'll soon see, eh, heh heh?
Summer moves on.

Yes and I'll make it all worthwhile...

...I'll make your heart smile...

Saturday. Just a couple of days left. The Charity Shield and the new Premiership season is almost upon us. I can't help feeling the mighty Spurs need another striker, but what do I know? Maybe it'll happen this week before the transfer window closes.
I think my body needs a holiday from what I've put it through this holiday. Gnerk.
Currently listening to the new Bloc Party single "Mercury". I can't decide whether I like it or not. It's certainly different, so full marks for effort.
I'm off outside to blow up a boat. As in "inflate it with air" as opposed to "insert dynamite and light the fuse". Ahem.
Back to school on Monday. Ho hum.

But it's alright if you act like a turd...

...cos I like...birds...



Monday - the last Monday of my summer holidays. How did this come around so soon? Bah.
Tottenham had better buy a replacement for Robbie Keane soon - only a few weeks until the transfer window closes. Mind, how do you replace Robbie Keane? *sob*
Back to Öjersjö tonight after a few days in Fiskebäckskil. Dead lucky with the weather as it's only really today that's been torrential rain. Looks like it's here to stay as well.
It's a good thing that I love my job, innit?

It'll end in tears...

...I won't cry

An evening dip in the sea at the end of a sunny day. The air still warm. These are the things that dreams are made of. Summer moves on. Coats for goalposts. Isn't it?

I've seen where rock is going...

...and it's not Tom of Finland...

This is alright, clarts. Out on the boat to an island. Swimming in the sea. Drying off in the sunshine. Summer skin. Mmm. It's a little before beer o'clock here. Locally-fished prawns and bread to follow. Guzzle. Everybody loves a chubby dude.

Arrrrrrrrr!

Whitstable Bay. The last day of the UK tour. This place is nice. Never been to this part of the country at all before.
About an hour from london right on the coast. I know this for a fact because the crazy crack whore lady gps in the car cleverly directed us through central London during the friday evening rush hour traffic in order to avoid the queues on the M25.
On the plus side we did drive past White Hart Lane (home of the mighty Tottenham Hotspur, viewers, as surely everyone knows) ha ha. And straight through the real east end of london ha ha. Magic.
I like pirates.

I'm the confuser...

...is it a boy? Is it a girl? I don't know and i don't really care...

Gimme.

And someone is calling my name...

...from the back of the restaurant...

After a couple of days in the english countryside it's one night at Alton Towers. Not actually as horribly busy as i'd feared bearing in mind it's the school holidays here. Lots of rides. Nice. Another morning of it before the next leg of the uk tour. Taking in nottingham. A few pics here of things totally unrelated to this post. As is my wont. I thank you.

i can't give you up 'til I've got more than enough...

...Infect me with your love...

uuh uuh uuh

Good heavens miss Sakamoto...

...you're beautiful...

Goodrich castle - on the way to England now for two nights in the countryside close to Tewkesbury. This castle is lovely with panoramic views in all directions. I do enjoy a good castle, don't you?

Come to me, plug it in so i can digest you...

...I will taste you...

the last night in wales. For this time. Today was sunny and warm for spells. Nice i say. I wonder if it's physically possible for me to eat and drink more than i have these last few days. We'll see won't we? Besides, i'm on me 'olidays...i've got me strapless on, like...

Hello Hello...

...it's good to be back...

Ah, country life. The green, green grass of home. Land of my fathers etc.,
It's been too long. I feel it in my bones.
It's been a while anyhow ha ha.
Now I'm sat here drinking a bottle of ale. Welsh ale no less. All is well with the world. Ah, to be in England (Wales) in the summertime....

No no mate you wanna hold the pears...

...cos I've been watching you from over by the stairs...

chish and fips. Half of it anyhow. What's wrong with a nice, dry chip? Nothing mate, but it'd taste better with chip shop curry sauce, spa.

While some sore heads may rue last night's endeavours...

...and make Sunday's vow that they won't get so leathered...

on the boat for 18 hours. Not actually as windy as we'd feared. Constant grey rain though until we came within sight of dear old blighty. Then the heavens cleared and mr sunshine showed his yellow smiley face. Cabin fever struck the slocombe clan hard, however, and the ensuing drive to south wales was no fun. For anyone. Small boys cooped up for a long length of time does not a quiet night make...

Don't you know that a love unrequited...

...is still love in the end...

Oh yes, one day she will be mine.

In the case of emergency...

...break the glass and stroke the shaft...

check out this feller. He's been caught with his pants down but he doesn't give a monkey's. He's like 'yeah whatever - you can go right ahead and just lick my salty lego balls pal'

The Megatron doesn't say urban freewheelers...

...it says sofa-masturbators...

Summer summer summertime. Today I have weeded, erm, weeds and cut grass. Very domesticated.
Tomorrow we're off on tour - beginning with Denmark for a couple of days before the boat back to dear old Blighty. Mmmm...sausage...mmm...beer. I love Denmark, me.
I'm actually quite proud of myself - I haven't even mentioned the weather in this blog for ages. Actually it must be...doh! Bah.
This week I have been mostly loving Gordo in Hell's Kitchen III (or whatever it's called). Sadly enough, I've even downloaded a few episodes as I'm gonna miss them while we're on holiday. The trouble is, they're the US version and all of the amusing sweary bits have been cut out. Rubbish.
"If you don't cook that risotto properly I'll BEEEEP stick that BEEEEEP spoon sideways up your BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP".
One week of holidays down, four more to go. Ho hum. I'll live through it.
Somehow.
*grin*

if i run for election...

...will you support my erection?

Another wednesday. I've brought the lads to Bushuset. Which roughly translated means "house of busses". Or something. Possibly.
They seem to be enjoying themselves anyhow and the weather is intermittently foul so it seemed like a good idea.
I am drinking bad coffee and eating a rather nice muffin. Mmm...sweet sweet muffin. Is muffin the mule a sexual offence? That used to be written on the wall in the toilets in a pub called Baileys in the 'port. Why do i remember that? Next time i post here there'll be a special guest appearance from Becks. King of the cockneys apparently. Whatever that means.

I like driving in my car...

...it's not quite a Jaguar

The summer holidays have landed. Which is nice.
I'm visibly excited about the new X-Files movie which is out later this month (around about the time we get back from dear old Blighty)...how could I have only realised it was coming out in the last few weeks?
Madness, madness I tell you.
Wimbledon was good this year - at least the men's final.
Is it just me, or does the boy Federer have a little of the young Mozzer about him?
Anyone...anyone...Bueller?

Lots of girls and lots of boys...

lots of smells and lots of noise...

Saturday in Fiskebäckskil. Just one more week at work and then five (count 'em) weeks' holiday. Happy days.
I missed the chance to see Mustasch at Liseberg this week. Bah. Next time...
Why do I always harp on about the weather? Anyhows, it's lovely today and the forecast says there's more of it on the way. Weather, that is, hur hur.
Soon back to dear old Blighty.
It's been a while...

Blue sky and city lights...

...yeah I'm coming in

Here's a thought for today, kids - never try and eat an apple that is more than half the size of your own head. Especially if you do have a (albeit perfectly-formed) head that is a little on the small side. Not that there's anything wrong with little heads. Big, bloaty heads can be plain scary.
Midsummer has been and gone, complete with ice (and I mean ice) cold dips in the sea, over-mature (for this read: horrible, dry, tasteless and impossible to light) cigars and copious amounts of home-made snaps. Mmmm. Of course, the day itself was less-than-midsummery, although not incessantly rainy like last year at least. You win some you lose some, eh?

We say that we're in love, while secretly wishing for rain...

...sipping coke and playing games...

The weather's a bit more changeable suddenly. Even the odd shower here and there.
The European Championships is shaping up quite nicely - maybe one the teams that always promise but rarely deliver will win it this time...Spain? Holland? Croatia anyone? The new feller Spurs have signed looks amazing. He destroyed Germany yesterday.
The weekend has landed. Time to buy some beer methinks.

Style is not a label that sticks to the roof of one's ass...

...style is like a second cousin to class...

And this feller has that written all over him huh? Lush. Serious.
This week i am mostly watching Ashes to Ashes. 80's-mungous baby.
I feel a compilation coming on.
Another one...

Driving in your car...

...I never ever want to go home...

WTF?!? Ha ha ha...
I loves it.

I'll love you in the morning...

...when we're still hungover...

The sun continues. Another short working week too. Today i have mostly been hot. Happy days...

There's a hole in my neighbourhood...

...down which of late I cannot help but fall...

The end of May approaches and the weather is suprisingly good. Not as warm as a couple of weeks ago but bright mostly. Which after last year is reason enough to celebrate.
Some more bank holidays soon too. Nice.
Today I have mostly had the Human League in my head.
"Here comes the Mirror Man..."
Ahem.

You are the only thing...

...in every room you're ever in...

Well, it's that time of year again. I'm referring of course to the my-birthday-time-of-year, chortle. Cardiff will have to wait another 70-odd years to win the Cup by the looks. Never much of a threat. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Pompey didn't exactly set the world alight during their victory.
It'll soon be time for the summer hols. Maybe I'll make it back to dear old Blighty this year. Show the kids some of Wales p'raps.
It's been a while...

I wish the world was flat like the old days...

...then I could travel just by folding a map...

Serious clarts - this is more like it. Continued sunshine. Outdoors all day. The wind in my, erm, hair. Not sure which hair, but one of 'em, ha ha.
Let's just hope this isn't all the summer we're getting, as the weather's due to deteriorate next week. A chance of showers so they say. Mmm. Really?
Today I have mostly been gardening and trying to clean out the garage of at least some of the old rubbish that seems to just end up in there-
Now do I deserve a beerio or do I deserve a beer...the little hand is wayyyy past beer o'clock methinks.

In your room, time stands still...

...or moves at your will...

Today is a Friday. The working week has drawn to a close and the sun is shining. All is well with the world.
Some days are lovelier than others...

Now that I'm clean...

...you know(s) what I mean...

Boo.
The end of the long bank holiday weekend. Back to school tomorrow. If i'm not coming down with the lurgy.
Wonder how long it will be before i dare take a swim? A few weeks of warmer weather first methinks. At least. Brr.
Why is it that as soon as the weather takes a turn for the better all the flu bugs rear their ugly little heads? Bah.

What she asked of me at the end of the day...

...Caligula would have blushed...

Hello sunshine. This is more like it. It's even fairly warm on the sunny side of the street.
I've developed a stinking cold from somewhere just in time for the good weather. Note to self: don't eat chips (that is crisps) that have been left open in an empty summerhouse for months and months on end. If i only could have stopped myself after half the remaining bag had disappeared then i might have got away with it. Out of control.
Serious.
Sometimes i even disgust myself.

Our lips shouldn't touch...

...moo-ve over darling...

Geddit? Ha not very ha.
Miserable weather still. At least i went for a little walk. To keep up my step count. Ahem.
Blew away some cobwebs anyway and put a smile on my face. Hoping for improvements tomorrow. The Dr's diagnosis.
Tomorrow will be better.

Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen...

...this means you really love me...

Mmm adiporn. You've gotta love it.
Today is the first day of a few days off. Cue an end to the lovely sunny weather. Enter rain and a temperature drop of ten degrees. Nice.
It is nice that we have one of these crazy swedish 'squeeze' days, meaning that, since the bank holiday is on the thursday, we get the friday off for free, as it were. Two for a pound. Get 'em in. Tidy clart!
Two english teams in the Champions League final. It seems like the same two teams will share that cup and the league between them, but i've been wrong before. Hard to believe...

Two lumps please, you're the bee's knees...

...but so am I...

Teams in white rock!
Except for the english rugby team of course.
I'm keeping my eye on the fine-looking ginger boy...he's going places.
Today was hot hot hot. I'm in danger of repeating myself here. But it was. Serious.
I love it.

I know that windswept, mystical air...

...it means I'd like to see your underwear...

Today was even lovelier. 19 degrees and bright sunshine. Sitting outside at lunchtime. Gorgeous. Long may it continue.
It keeps on getting nicer right now.
Joel's 1st football match. Away to the mighty frolunda. Come on! Hope there are not too many overly competitive parents here. I also hope joel can see the ball without his goggles, ha ha. I managed when i was a nipper though, so he'll be alright. Afterwards i'll pick up food for us. Mmm...food.
Today has been one of the good days...

15 minutes with you...

...oh I wouldn't say no...

Today was a lovely day. 17 degrees in the shade. It won't be that warm at the height of summer, ha ha. A spring in my stride and a glint in my eyes. Or something. Indeed, it was warm enough for me to strut around in my shorts when I came home from work. A treat for all involved, naturally.
Roll on the summertime...

And in any case I'd rather wear it...

...It's like a bad head in the morning...

Today has been a beautiful Spring day. After a couple of other nice days even.
We've been to Borås Djurpark to look at the animals (and crappy plastic dinos). Elephants, giraffes, leopards, tigers, monkeys with nasty red arses, the lot...all animal life is there.
Upon returning home I happened upon Spurs on tv. Which was nice.
Joe Calzaghe is fighting tonight in the early hours (of tomorrow) in Las Vegas. Come on!!!
I finally got the summer tyres onto the Pathfinder this week, complete with my blinging new rims. Booyakasha!
It feels like it's time to be drinking rosé (in a manly way, of course) and barbecueing. Outdoor drinking is a wonderful thing, I've always thought. I'm all for it. I've already grilled outdoors twice this week, ha ha. Mad for it...

Sometimes it snows in April...

...sometimes I wish that life was never-ending, but all good things they say never last...

Mad crazy weather. Snow in the mornings and sunshine and ten degrees warmer after lunch. Hmm.
One day I'll put my shiny new wheels onto my motor. Bling baby bling!
This week we bought a new tv. Mmmm...full HD goodness. The XBox 360 looks amazing on it. Oh yes.

This week I have also been mainly watching Gavin and Stacey, after it being recommended to me by "cousin" Andrew.
I loves it!
Just seen the final episode of season one (series one, I suppose it's called in "english" heh heh) and the GLC even got as mention.
"Where to is it?"
"Listen love, either learn to speak Welsh, or speak proper English...I haven't got a clue what you're on about"
"Okay, then. Where is it?"
Barry Island baby! You knows it, clart.

The football season is heating up (for the top teams) and sputtering out (for the mighty Tottenham).
Maybe I should watch Swedish football all summer while there's the break in the Premier League. Although maybe not, eh? Ha ha...

That's when I saw her - ooh, when I saw her...

...she walked in through the out-door, out-door...

Back from paradise to six degrees and rain and the arse-end of the snow that fell when we were away. Ew.

At least it's much lighter in the mornings (and evenings) though so Spring can't be too far away.

This week I have been mostly strangely knackered. Jet-lag I suppose.

 

Finally the boys have got a Spurs player when I bought some take-away food from Sibylla in one of their so-called "fun" boxes (is it just me or does that sound like something you'd buy in a sex shop? Just me? Ah, ok then.). Sadly he's an ex-Spurs player, but you can't have it all can you?

 

I want to go back to Curacao.

You're like my yo-yo that glows in the dark...

...what makes it special, makes it dangerous...

Another sunny day here. Easter saturday. Is it called that? Yesterday was weird. Phillip went to the toilet and on the way there he slipped on the wet floor (of course he was running full-tilt) by the pool and fell headfirst into the door. Cue torrents of blood and joel running back to us. And malin screaming at me to come out of the sea to go to him while she grabbed our stuff and the other two boys. I then went to the island's one hospital to get him seen to. Bizarre. He had a 4cm gash in his forehead the poor little feller, but he was very brave when they glued it shut. He seemed very small on the bed in hospital holding my hand. Hoping it's not gonna scar too much. The chicks are gonna dig it in a few years, though, heh heh. Now how on earth do we keep it out of the water for two days?
Doh!

It's gonna be a bright...

...bright sunshiney day...

The holiday continues apace. Yesterday we went into Willemstad which is the local town. Full of pretty, dutch influenced houses on the seafront with a floating bridge connecting the two main areas. It was a little cloudier. Possibly a good thing. There'll be plenty more sun before we're through. Time for some more snorkelling soon. Then something to eat. And drink. Repeat until bedtime. Ah...

I don't like cricket-ah, oh no...

...I love it-ah...

welcome to our dreadlock holiday. 6 degrees and rain. Doh! Wait. That's wrong isn't it? ... After a nightmarish journey here (read: 11 hours on a plane with young spencer, ha ha) we arrived just after 6 in the evening local time. To 28 degrees and the habitual lovely tradewind. Seriously, this is unbelievable. Paradise. All-inclusive paradise too no less. Oh yes. The sea is full of improbably-coloured fish even in the shallows. Everyone speaks dutch here so even the beer is great. Does anyone have any idea how much damage jonny jenks can do to a free bar? Over the course of a fortnight? Has nobody warned them...?

They stood around the kettle and watched as it brewed...

...Sneezing into hankies, hands all blue...

Ah, there's nothing like quality Danish beer. And, indeed, the beer pictured here is, in fact, also nothing like a quality Danish beer. Bading! Thank you. You've been a wunnerful crowd.

On a more serious note, this useless blog is 51 posts old or something. And they said it'd never last, eh?

This weekend was excellent. Wales won the Triple Crown (which is getting to be something of a habit, ha ha) and England lost (ahem). Then today Spurs crowned a marvellous weekend of Sport with a thumping 4-0 victory over the hapless Hammers.
The weather was back on its habitual 6 degrees and rain tip. Bah. Still, you can't have it all can you?
Four more working days before holiday time...I can almost taste it.
Some Sundays are nice.

Who taught you to torture...

...who taught ya?

The wisdom of Ralph Wiggum
Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies...
Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!
I bent my wookie.
The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.
Even my boogers are spicy!



I thank you.

Can you imagine that...

...an itch too sensitive to scratch?

Ah, to be in Sweden in the Springtime. Of my voodoo.
The whole Slocombe clan here appears to be succumbing to some kind of lurgy. Thankfully myself and mini-me seem to have avoided it so far. Let's hope it stays that way and everyone is fit for the trip next week. I still can't believe we're going. A holiday in the sun. With iguanas. And turtles. And all-inclusive loveliness.
A few of us had part two of our injections this week. Spence and Phillip will have theirs next week when their fevers have hopefully abated.
Last night was not a good night's sleep...

Am i just like you...

...all the things you do, can't help myself...

I somehow (crazily) forgot to set the alarm clock this morning, but it was light enough that I woke up only about eight minutes after it should have gone off. In a blind panic, not knowing what day it was admittedly.
Today felt all lovely and Spring-like. A real vårkänsla as we say here in Sweden.
Sunshine that was actually warm on the skin. Mmm.
Let's hope for some more of the same. Too much is never enough. Some people are never satisfied. Greedy-guts.
Mind you, in a little while we'll be in the Caribbean, baby!