Arrrrrrrrr!

Whitstable Bay. The last day of the UK tour. This place is nice. Never been to this part of the country at all before.
About an hour from london right on the coast. I know this for a fact because the crazy crack whore lady gps in the car cleverly directed us through central London during the friday evening rush hour traffic in order to avoid the queues on the M25.
On the plus side we did drive past White Hart Lane (home of the mighty Tottenham Hotspur, viewers, as surely everyone knows) ha ha. And straight through the real east end of london ha ha. Magic.
I like pirates.

I'm the confuser...

...is it a boy? Is it a girl? I don't know and i don't really care...

Gimme.

And someone is calling my name...

...from the back of the restaurant...

After a couple of days in the english countryside it's one night at Alton Towers. Not actually as horribly busy as i'd feared bearing in mind it's the school holidays here. Lots of rides. Nice. Another morning of it before the next leg of the uk tour. Taking in nottingham. A few pics here of things totally unrelated to this post. As is my wont. I thank you.

i can't give you up 'til I've got more than enough...

...Infect me with your love...

uuh uuh uuh

Good heavens miss Sakamoto...

...you're beautiful...

Goodrich castle - on the way to England now for two nights in the countryside close to Tewkesbury. This castle is lovely with panoramic views in all directions. I do enjoy a good castle, don't you?

Come to me, plug it in so i can digest you...

...I will taste you...

the last night in wales. For this time. Today was sunny and warm for spells. Nice i say. I wonder if it's physically possible for me to eat and drink more than i have these last few days. We'll see won't we? Besides, i'm on me 'olidays...i've got me strapless on, like...

Hello Hello...

...it's good to be back...

Ah, country life. The green, green grass of home. Land of my fathers etc.,
It's been too long. I feel it in my bones.
It's been a while anyhow ha ha.
Now I'm sat here drinking a bottle of ale. Welsh ale no less. All is well with the world. Ah, to be in England (Wales) in the summertime....

No no mate you wanna hold the pears...

...cos I've been watching you from over by the stairs...

chish and fips. Half of it anyhow. What's wrong with a nice, dry chip? Nothing mate, but it'd taste better with chip shop curry sauce, spa.

While some sore heads may rue last night's endeavours...

...and make Sunday's vow that they won't get so leathered...

on the boat for 18 hours. Not actually as windy as we'd feared. Constant grey rain though until we came within sight of dear old blighty. Then the heavens cleared and mr sunshine showed his yellow smiley face. Cabin fever struck the slocombe clan hard, however, and the ensuing drive to south wales was no fun. For anyone. Small boys cooped up for a long length of time does not a quiet night make...

Don't you know that a love unrequited...

...is still love in the end...

Oh yes, one day she will be mine.

In the case of emergency...

...break the glass and stroke the shaft...

check out this feller. He's been caught with his pants down but he doesn't give a monkey's. He's like 'yeah whatever - you can go right ahead and just lick my salty lego balls pal'

The Megatron doesn't say urban freewheelers...

...it says sofa-masturbators...

Summer summer summertime. Today I have weeded, erm, weeds and cut grass. Very domesticated.
Tomorrow we're off on tour - beginning with Denmark for a couple of days before the boat back to dear old Blighty. Mmmm...sausage...mmm...beer. I love Denmark, me.
I'm actually quite proud of myself - I haven't even mentioned the weather in this blog for ages. Actually it must be...doh! Bah.
This week I have been mostly loving Gordo in Hell's Kitchen III (or whatever it's called). Sadly enough, I've even downloaded a few episodes as I'm gonna miss them while we're on holiday. The trouble is, they're the US version and all of the amusing sweary bits have been cut out. Rubbish.
"If you don't cook that risotto properly I'll BEEEEP stick that BEEEEEP spoon sideways up your BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP".
One week of holidays down, four more to go. Ho hum. I'll live through it.
Somehow.
*grin*

if i run for election...

...will you support my erection?

Another wednesday. I've brought the lads to Bushuset. Which roughly translated means "house of busses". Or something. Possibly.
They seem to be enjoying themselves anyhow and the weather is intermittently foul so it seemed like a good idea.
I am drinking bad coffee and eating a rather nice muffin. Mmm...sweet sweet muffin. Is muffin the mule a sexual offence? That used to be written on the wall in the toilets in a pub called Baileys in the 'port. Why do i remember that? Next time i post here there'll be a special guest appearance from Becks. King of the cockneys apparently. Whatever that means.

I like driving in my car...

...it's not quite a Jaguar

The summer holidays have landed. Which is nice.
I'm visibly excited about the new X-Files movie which is out later this month (around about the time we get back from dear old Blighty)...how could I have only realised it was coming out in the last few weeks?
Madness, madness I tell you.
Wimbledon was good this year - at least the men's final.
Is it just me, or does the boy Federer have a little of the young Mozzer about him?
Anyone...anyone...Bueller?